Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on Earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.

How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.

Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.

Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time.

--W. H. Auden

Drama-free

Last year I made a decision to lead a boring life. I was tired of the incessant drama and gossip and scandal in my life and in the lives of people around me. I was also tired of people not taking me seriously. I decided to be a 'good girl'. I did it for a guy.

It has been less than a year and I'm a bored bore who bores even herself.
This yeas I'm going to get back in drama-mode. No one ever gets bored in drama-mode.




PS- Guys are bullshit. He never even noticed.

This feeling

Toska- noun  - Russian word roughly translated as sadness, melancholia, lugubriousness.

 "No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning, in particular cases it may be the desire for somebody of something specific, nostalgia, love sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom."

--Vladimir Nabokov